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Post by heyyitskait on Apr 9, 2014 10:55:47 GMT -5
There is so much stress and anxiety in my life right now. I have this weekend off to go on a little trip but I'd rather bail, stay home and get all the projects I have to do done.
Also, don't assign interviews as part of projects. I get that they're important. But when the hell am I supposed to interview a Banquet Manager? If I'm not at school, I'm at work. Even if I worked in a hotel or catering company, I couldn't interview anyone I worked with. I've had one day off since this semester started. I keep telling myself that there's only a few weeks left, but my brain is about done.
Now I'm going to go to the dentist. I bet I have a cavity. Why wouldn't I? JUST PILE ON THE STRESS, LIFE.
There is so much stress and anxiety in my life right now. I have this weekend off to go on a little trip but I'd rather bail, stay home and get all the projects I have to do done.
Also, don't assign interviews as part of projects. I get that they're important. But when the hell am I supposed to interview a Banquet Manager? If I'm not at school, I'm at work. Even if I worked in a hotel or catering company, I couldn't interview anyone I worked with. I've had one day off since this semester started. I keep telling myself that there's only a few weeks left, but my brain is about done.
Now I'm going to go to the dentist. I bet I have a cavity. Why wouldn't I? JUST PILE ON THE STRESS, LIFE.
Oh god. I'm going insane.
You were born insane; all these projects and shit is just the world trying to normalize you. YOU MUST RESIST!
Seriously though, like you said, there's only a few weeks left. You'll get through it. And if at all possible, see if you can find a teeny bit of time to put the world on pause and just breathe for a little bit - even if it means an extra long shower or you step outside for five minutes while baking dinner or something like that. Idk how far along in school you are or how much wiggle room you have with your grades, but towards the end of my college career it was nice to remember that passing with C's gave me the same degree as passing with A's. I still strove to excel and I didn't use that as an excuse to slack off, but sometimes it's good to remember that in the long run, things often aren't nearly worth the stress we may put ourselves under.
5.5/four tet, daphni b2b floating points, avalon emerson 5.12/neil young 5.19/mannequin pussy 5.21/serpentwithfeet 5.25/hozier 6.12-16/bonnaroo 6.28/goose 6.29/goose 9.17/the national + the war on drugs 9.23/sigur ros 9.27-29/making time 10.17/air
GRR! I feel like it's been too long since I've gotten to see you already but you are a fantastic nurse and person all together so you and your vibes are probably needed elsewhere. What other fests/time off will you have going for you?
firefly and peach for sure. I'm trying to get back to ca late summer or even the fall, otherwise I have no plans other than a few shows here and there I actually just said to clyde and Allison I need to drive down to Nashville sooner than later, so ill work that in at some point
also custeph ill keep that in mind, thanks sista![/quote]
I am so sorry that you've been through so much. But it is funny how things work out sometimes in ways we never would have imagined and for a reason You are such an incredible person and a kindred spirit. We need to figure out a way to get together again - I've never laughed as much or hard as we did that time in Baltimore
Anyway, know that I'm here for you anytime (and you should think about going back to NP school)
Congrats on the new gig, would love hear all about it! xoxo
5.5/four tet, daphni b2b floating points, avalon emerson 5.12/neil young 5.19/mannequin pussy 5.21/serpentwithfeet 5.25/hozier 6.12-16/bonnaroo 6.28/goose 6.29/goose 9.17/the national + the war on drugs 9.23/sigur ros 9.27-29/making time 10.17/air
Not a true grrr but a "need to get it out". This micro class is taking so much of my time (put myself in this position by not doing school work over spring break). My full time job drives me crazy and not in a fun rush kind of way! I am waiting to hear any day if I was accepted into the nursing program. There are approx 200 applicants for 80 spots. If one more person says "oh you will do fine" i may punch them!!! If I dont get in (odds are not awesome) i will feel like a complete asshole/failure with all these people. I have planned two vacations less than 2 weeks apart (Jamaica and Roo). I am super excited for both but they are adding some stress with planning and coordinating everything. So....AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Thank you for letting get all that out. Shew
i too am deeply sorry for all your grief and sorrow. loss is a terrible experience, the grieving cycle takes time. loss also opens your eyes and heart in ways that nothing else can. it makes my problem feel so minute, however, i'm still going to vent... fuck the very rare occasions when my husband and i have anger and frustration between us, he can be really narrow and rigid about seeing my perspective. it feels uncomfortable i get angry (which is super unusual) when i feel certain that the reason for our discourse is valid on my end. i am so flexible, i don't need a solution or for things to change. i just need to be heard. fucking stupid shit. what a waste of time to be like this.
I am sorry, ericha. I so know what you are talking about, and how it can make you feel. Hang in there & know that you can vent to us anytime.
it's crazy... but my husband ended up buying two tickets and taking a week off of work and securing a suite in manchester... so we could drive down together. we have only taking one trip togethe, just the two of us... on our honeymoon 8 years ago. and these last few months, he has been trying... to connect? lucky me :-)
5.5/four tet, daphni b2b floating points, avalon emerson 5.12/neil young 5.19/mannequin pussy 5.21/serpentwithfeet 5.25/hozier 6.12-16/bonnaroo 6.28/goose 6.29/goose 9.17/the national + the war on drugs 9.23/sigur ros 9.27-29/making time 10.17/air
Post by celestiaequestria on Apr 10, 2014 14:01:53 GMT -5
Someone stole my credit card and used it to buy a month of Runescape. I don't even know where to begin. Like, I want to meet this kid who did this and have a serious talk about life with them. I'm not even mad, it's the most pathetic thing I've heard in my entire life.
On the plus side, apparently my bank's computer AI decided I'm cool as hell, flagged the transaction as "outside my expected purchasing patterns", they locked the card, and I'm getting my $8 back in a week. Seriously though, if this kid had flown to Vegas and gone on a bender, I'd be having to prove it wasn't me... instead he picked Runescape. Way to go kid, way to go.
Someone stole my credit card and used it to buy a month of Runescape. I don't even know where to begin. Like, I want to meet this kid who did this and have a serious talk about life with them. I'm not even mad, it's the most pathetic thing I've heard in my entire life.
On the plus side, apparently my bank's computer AI decided I'm cool as hell, flagged the transaction as "outside my expected purchasing patterns", they locked the card, and I'm getting my $8 back in a week. Seriously though, if this kid had flown to Vegas and gone on a bender, I'd be having to prove it wasn't me... instead he picked Runescape. Way to go kid, way to go.
Only a month of Runescape? What is this kids problem? You get a year's worth. Amateur.
Someone stole my credit card and used it to buy a month of Runescape. I don't even know where to begin. Like, I want to meet this kid who did this and have a serious talk about life with them. I'm not even mad, it's the most pathetic thing I've heard in my entire life.
On the plus side, apparently my bank's computer AI decided I'm cool as hell, flagged the transaction as "outside my expected purchasing patterns", they locked the card, and I'm getting my $8 back in a week. Seriously though, if this kid had flown to Vegas and gone on a bender, I'd be having to prove it wasn't me... instead he picked Runescape. Way to go kid, way to go.
Wow, that is really great.
You have free reign of a credit card for a few hours before it's reported stolen, what's the first thing you buy? Fucking Runescape, that's what.
Someone stole my credit card and used it to buy a month of Runescape. I don't even know where to begin. Like, I want to meet this kid who did this and have a serious talk about life with them. I'm not even mad, it's the most pathetic thing I've heard in my entire life.
Someone stole my credit card and used it to buy a month of Runescape. I don't even know where to begin. Like, I want to meet this kid who did this and have a serious talk about life with them. I'm not even mad, it's the most pathetic thing I've heard in my entire life.
How do you know it's a kid?
I don't want to think about the possibility of some 30+ year old dude stealing a credit card and being like "hell yes, time to buy some Runescape". That's a level of darkness I am not prepared to deal with today.
Post by rummersizzo on Apr 10, 2014 20:28:03 GMT -5
God dammit. So since our lease started in September, we're currently on our third roommate so far, who just told us 2 days ago that she has to leave by the end of April. It hasn't even been a month. She has a personal reason, and I get that, but that doesn't mean we're not quacked over. And the worst part is that it's too much of a dick move to ask her to pay rent until we find a replacement. She took on the job of finding the replacement but who knows if she'll find anything, so I am still doing a bunch of work emailing people left and right looking for a roommate STILL because I'm too afraid that it won't be done as well as it needs to be done. And our apartment complex is overpriced and Craigslist is full of assholes who think they are going to get a private room to themselves for under 700 dollars because they apparently don't realize that CITIES ARE EXPENSIVE. Not to mention finals are coming up and I have an insane amount of work for all my courses and I'm broke as shit because I'm paying off my Bonnaroo ticket and I'm really pissed off that we have to find yet another roommate with 2 weeks notice but I don't have the right to be upset about it because the reason for leaving was some vague incident where she had to file a police report. And I get that whatever it was was probably pretty traumatizing for her but this just really fucking sucks.
I really am sorry for being such a negative Nancy lately. Things were good the last few days and then once again life said...haaaaa just kidding.
My family is slowly falling apart and that sucks. My mom's depressed because she can't find a job, my dad is depressed because she can't find a job and bills and stuff. My dad, the wonderful man that he is, isn't the best at picking up on others feelings. He yells a lot and he just went off on my mom and myself yesterday. I kind of rolled my eyes because I'm used to his yelling but I can tell my mom took it hard and that breaks my heart. She even said something to the effect of 'I'm so tired of being married' The thing that sucks is this is all because of money...or the lack thereof. My dad isn't as patient or optimistic as I am and freaks out easily. Me and my mom are on the "Everything will work out" wagon and he's in the "Everything will work out but OMG WE HAVE SO MUCH STUFF TO PAY RAWR" wagon. So that's where we bump heads.
Now I hate putting my business on the internet. I honestly don't know what else to do though. My friends I call to talk to about stuff aren't answering and I really hate bothering people in the first place. That stuff is just the tip though but as I always say it could be much worse. But I am scared.
I'm starting to doubt if I want to do festivals this year. It's a lot of money and I feel like a selfish dick for spending it when I know my parents need it. Beale Street is in 3 weeks and when my dad finds out I'm leaving in the midst of this he's going to lose it. I've lived my whole life trying to make that man happy and I feel like I keep failing at every step. My mom got really sick, which is why she had to leave her job and I can tell it's starting to get to her. She's already worrying about not working and now you have him telling her she NEEDS to work. Then there's the son of his that keeps traveling even though...ugh...nevermind.
I just needed to get some of it out. There's more but no one cares. No one ever cares. That's the problem with being who I am. I love everyone and I try to be there but in turn people suck. In saying that, I understand people have lives and struggles of their own and once again...that's me being selfish. I think I need to just disappear from all of this for a while and think. I want to cry but I can't. I've been on the verge of tears for the last few hours.
So for whoever reads this just pray for me if that's your thing...or send out good vibes. I've met some great people on here and I thank you all for being so awesome to someone who doesn't feel like he deserves it. Life is good guys, even at moments like this where it feels like it's caving in.
I haven't talked to you much token07, but it really sucks that you're going through such a stressful time right now. Family and financial things are always rough to deal with, as both are very sensitive topics. You should never feel like no one cares about your problems, because we do. It's good to get things off your chest and vent and just get your thoughts and feelings out. If you don't they will just build up and then eventually you'll just get irrationally angry over something else and then feel like shit about it. If you feel like a good stress relieving cry would help, do that. Take a drive or sit outside somewhere and just let it out. You'll feel better.
As far as your dad yelling at you and your mom lately, just be that positive person for her so she doesn't let it get to her too much. Sometimes it helps to just have someone there who can make you see the light at the end of the tunnel. Your dad is just stressed out, it sucks that he expresses himself by yelling like that, but hopefully it will pass. I'm sure he doesn't even realize how shitty he's making you both feel, he's just unloading his stress and emotions on you guys in a negative way- not saying that doesn't suck or that it's right, but I doubt he's trying to make you feel bad on purpose.
If you truly feel guilty about going to fests this summer and think that it could add to the problem and you won't regret not going, then maybe it wouldn't hurt to sit out a few this year. HOWEVER, if you're anything like me and can't imagine going a summer without fests, then go and just let the guilt slide away. I know people say "Just don't care" all the time, but seriously, if you have an attitude like, "This is what makes ME happy, and it's what I NEED right now, and I'm going regardless whatever guilt trip or opinions you have about it," everything just seems less stressful. You just gotta do what you gotta do sometimes, and festivals would be a great way to remove yourself from this stressful situation for awhile and recharge.
Sending nothing but positive thoughts your way, hang in there Buddy! *hugs*
So a few months ago we finally got smart phones and I was like yay I can do anything! Our phones fucking suck. There's so many things that it can't do, for instance I can't watch the Coachella webcast at work.
So a few months ago we finally got smart phones and I was like yay I can do anything! Our phones fucking suck. There's so many things that it can't do, for instance I can't watch the Coachella webcast at work.
You can. You just have to know how to look for it. Google that shit fool.
Thank you for caring enough to read all that Monie and jfg108. I know it'll be ok but maybe I have to be a grown up and put my fun to the side for my family. I appreciate the comments though. And Voldemort hugging is something even the grumpiest of persons can't adore. Thank you.
My best advice would be to love your neighbor as yourself.
Notice that I'm not saying love your neighbor as you love yourself. You have to keep it reasonable. Never forget that this is your life and you need to care about your own physical and mental health first and foremost.
Also, you should probably try to communicate your feelings to your father. I know - easier said than done.
E: I don't mean this to read as saying to tell your dad to buzz off. Just that you need to find a healthy line between helping your family and still being a happy individual.
token07 maybe put Beale Street on the back burner. Help out a bit with the family, and go to Bonnaroo with a clear heart and mind. I knew after seeing your post yesterday about your Dad that things were not going so good. I hope they get better for your family.
I really am sorry for being such a negative Nancy lately. Things were good the last few days and then once again life said...haaaaa just kidding.
My family is slowly falling apart and that sucks. My mom's depressed because she can't find a job, my dad is depressed because she can't find a job and bills and stuff. My dad, the wonderful man that he is, isn't the best at picking up on others feelings. He yells a lot and he just went off on my mom and myself yesterday. I kind of rolled my eyes because I'm used to his yelling but I can tell my mom took it hard and that breaks my heart. She even said something to the effect of 'I'm so tired of being married' The thing that sucks is this is all because of money...or the lack thereof. My dad isn't as patient or optimistic as I am and freaks out easily. Me and my mom are on the "Everything will work out" wagon and he's in the "Everything will work out but OMG WE HAVE SO MUCH STUFF TO PAY RAWR" wagon. So that's where we bump heads.
Now I hate putting my business on the internet. I honestly don't know what else to do though. My friends I call to talk to about stuff aren't answering and I really hate bothering people in the first place. That stuff is just the tip though but as I always say it could be much worse. But I am scared.
I'm starting to doubt if I want to do festivals this year. It's a lot of money and I feel like a selfish dick for spending it when I know my parents need it. Beale Street is in 3 weeks and when my dad finds out I'm leaving in the midst of this he's going to lose it. I've lived my whole life trying to make that man happy and I feel like I keep failing at every step. My mom got really sick, which is why she had to leave her job and I can tell it's starting to get to her. She's already worrying about not working and now you have him telling her she NEEDS to work. Then there's the son of his that keeps traveling even though...ugh...nevermind.
I just needed to get some of it out. There's more but no one cares. No one ever cares. That's the problem with being who I am. I love everyone and I try to be there but in turn people suck. In saying that, I understand people have lives and struggles of their own and once again...that's me being selfish. I think I need to just disappear from all of this for a while and think. I want to cry but I can't. I've been on the verge of tears for the last few hours.
So for whoever reads this just pray for me if that's your thing...or send out good vibes. I've met some great people on here and I thank you all for being so awesome to someone who doesn't feel like he deserves it. Life is good guys, even at moments like this where it feels like it's caving in.
Breathe buddy, breathe. I'm going to send extra good vibes to you and your family. We love ya, and let me know if you think you are going to Beale still, we had a question to ask you in regards. Hang in there.
We're all a mess of paradoxes. Believing in things we know can't be true. We walk around carrying feelings too complicated and contradictory to express. But when it all becomes too big, and words aren't enough to help get it all out, there's always music.
Yesterday I was at the dentist, and was told some sucky news. I chipped one of my front teeth when I was 10 years old, got a filling to fix it, then a root canal, then a filling replacement or two. Come to find out the tooth is slowly decaying from the inside, and it's not a question of if but when it just totally snaps off near the gumline. I was afraid all these years about the filling falling out again, but turns out the filling and the root canal are the only two strong parts of the tooth.
So now I'm uber paranoid about having the tooth break, and really don't know what to do. I was told a crown might not have worked a year or two ago, and worthless to try now. Can I just get it yanked out and put a fake tooth in its spot?
Yesterday I was at the dentist, and was told some sucky news. I chipped one of my front teeth when I was 10 years old, got a filling to fix it, then a root canal, then a filling replacement or two. Come to find out the tooth is slowly decaying from the inside, and it's not a question of if but when it just totally snaps off near the gumline. I was afraid all these years about the filling falling out again, but turns out the filling and the root canal are the only two strong parts of the tooth.
So now I'm uber paranoid about having the tooth break, and really don't know what to do. I was told a crown might not have worked a year or two ago, and worthless to try now. Can I just get it yanked out and put a fake tooth in its spot?
Why couldn't you? Dental problems are the worst. My ex had lots of issues with his wisdom teeth basically breaking apart from shifting and cavities and stuff and seeing the amount of pain he'd be in at times was absolutely terrible, I don't wish that on my worst enemy. If you can get it pulled before you get to that point I'd seriously consider it.
Post by celestiaequestria on Apr 12, 2014 10:41:25 GMT -5
Find a dental surgeon who specializes in implants and reconstructive dental surgery. What they do is fuse a metal rod with your jaw, then sculp a ceramic tooth that attaches to the rod. I've had it done, my final result was so good they didn't notice until I told them during my regular dental cleaning.
It doesn't even hurt, and implants feel like a regular tooth.
token07 Money and family issues always suck. One things that makes relationships difficult is that we know our actions will affect other people. There have been times in my life where I've made decisions and had conversations that I knew were going to affect other people negatively. They were also some of the best decisions I've ever made, because I knew that I would suffer greatly if I didn't make them. Yes, I had to endure other people's judgement and scorn, and in some cases, our relationship changed. But that's okay. I did what I knew needed to be done, and I stepped forward confidently in that direction. It can be uncomfortable, but discomfort is fertile ground for individual growth. I know helping other people is important to you, but remember that your ability to help others is greatly hindered when you're not functioning at your best. From what you've said, it seems like being a part of fests is, to some extent, something that you genuinely need, for reasons I'm sure you are aware of. If your functioning as a person and your ability to be there for your family would take a hit by not doing fests, then I think going is something you owe it to yourself to do. It's in your family's best interests as well - what you are able to provide financially may be important (and overly important to your father), but what you provide as a person is of much greater value. Be kind enough to yourself to allow yourself to take what you know you need. That doesn't make you a selfish person (even if you yourself choose to view it as a selfish act). You've moved across the country for your family, you help support them financially, and now you're considering giving up something you've been looking forward to for a long time for them - these are not the traits of a selfish person. Yes, sometimes it is good to make sacrifices for those we love - but not always. If you constantly get pushed back two steps in your efforts to push other people one step forward, you're going to burn out (and quite honestly I think you're nearing that point if you haven't reached it already). All wells will run dry if they are not replenished.
Whether it's a fest or something else, I think you need to do something for yourself. Whether it's big or small, and regardless of whether or not you think it's selfish. You are a good and worthy person, and you deserve happiness.
5.5/four tet, daphni b2b floating points, avalon emerson 5.12/neil young 5.19/mannequin pussy 5.21/serpentwithfeet 5.25/hozier 6.12-16/bonnaroo 6.28/goose 6.29/goose 9.17/the national + the war on drugs 9.23/sigur ros 9.27-29/making time 10.17/air
Thank you all so much. Really. I don't know what I did to have such wonderful people in my life but I am truly grateful for you all. From the bottom of my heart. Thank you. <3