breaking up is hard to do

Good call on Damien Rice & Radiohead, EAP! Those are my go-to guys when I need a good soul-cleansing cry. For moments like those when your heart is tattered and bruised, you just can't go wrong w/those pensive English guys. They are so accustomed to gloomy weather that their music is so damn therapeutic for me.

My other audio therapists are: Peter Gabriel, Glen Hansard/The Frames, Jeff Buckley, Leonard Cohen, Elliott Smith, and - to a lesser extent - The Decemberists.

When you want to sulk, pour yourself some wine and listen to Damien Rice's "Cheers Darlin":


When you want to cry, listen to Peter Gabriel's album Us. It was written during his divorce; it's full of heartbreak that makes you feel better after one listen.



The song "I Love to Be Loved" has perfect breakup lyrics:

And in this moment, I need to be needed
With this darkness all around me, I like to be liked
In this emptiness and fear, I want to be wanted
'Cause I love to be loved

And in this moment, I need to be needed
When my self-esteem is sinking, I like to be liked
In this emptiness and fear,
I want to be wanted
'Cause I love to be loved

Let it pass let it go let it leave
From the deepest place I grieve

Though it takes all the strength in me
And all the world can see
I'm losing such a central part of me
I can let go of it


The same goes for "Washing of the Water" - another great one for when you feel like you're drowning in a sea of emotions:

I feel like I'm sinking down
Thought that I could get along
But here in this water
My feet won't touch the ground
I need something to turn myself around

Letting go, it's so hard
The way it's hurting now
To get this love untied
So tough to stay with thing
'Cause if I follow through
I face what I denied
I get those hooks out of me
And I take out the hooks that I sunk deep in your side
Kill that fear of emptiness, loneliness I hide



His song "I Grieve" is another gut-wrencher:

I grieve for you; you leave me
it's so hard to move on; still loving what's gone



When you're ready to move onto the "I'm pissed at you for doing this to me" phase, fire up Glen Hansard/Swell Season. Dude knows a thing or two about heartache & this song really captures his emotional rage about being dumped:



If you like prog rock, try this one from Porcupine Tree:

She changes every time you look
By summer it was all gone - now she's moved on
She called you every other day
So savour it it's all gone - now she's moved on

So for a while everything seemed new
Did we connect? Or was it all just biding time for you?



OK, now when you're ready to put on your proverbial boxing gloves & you feel your fighting spirit returning, Fitz & the Tantrums will give you the boost you need. Their EP "Songs for a Breakup" is good stuff, but the full-length "Pickin' Up the Pieces" has plenty of great tunes that give the finger to whoever done you wrong.

Lyrics from the title track:

Felt like the stars fell down before us
In a dream of you and me
then a storm came outta nowhere
Turned my peace to misery.


Oh, and in that same style, Mayer Hawthorne's "The Walk" also works:

So long, you did me wrong
Yeah you can walk your long legs baby right out of my life



Sorry to hear you're having to endure this. It sucks, it's not easy, but it gets easier with time. Just take care of yourself and remember: you're not alone. Music is the perfect therapist. Hang in there!