What you got back home, little sister, to play your fuzzy warbles on? I bet you got little save pitiful, portable picnic players. Come with uncle and hear all proper! Hear angel trumpets and devil trombones. You are invited.
First one loses points for being completely unrealistic. I'm counting four headliners on Friday alone (Muse, Jay-Z, Daft Punk, Arcade Fire). I wouldn't be surprised to see two of those playing on one night at Bonnaroo or Lollapalooza (or even Coachella) but all four is madness. Add in White Stripes, Roger Waters, Neil Young, Allman Brothers and MMJ and you've got a festival that isn't ever going to actually happen. Ever.
So Ann Arbor wins even though I don't find its lineup particularly interesting.