I have to share this story with the world, and I guess this is the place to start.
Back at home I only drink. But Saturday night at roo I **** until my mouth swallowed my brain and I was holding my arms like T-rex.
That’s when she approached me.
She was this fine lil brunette from Michigan.....that’s all I know of her. I was partying with her on and off throughout the day. My group had gone off on their separate ways and I found myself sitting alone for about 5 minutes. During those five minutes I continued to expand my mind, debauchery was my only goal. That’s when Mrs. Michigan sat beside me, magically all clean and in a pink slutty lingerie type dress. That’s when things went downhill...........hilariously down hill. She asked for a hit so of course I obliged. All I heard next was a “Gush hack coughhh”. Apparently I was so messed up that there was nothing in the *** and I made her smoke ashes which she swallowed (she had skills). Normally this is when a girl would slap me or move on, but she persisted. She went on to tell me that her lips were very dry and that she wished she had something to moisturize them. I responded with an “Oh”. Keep in mind that I was completely oblivious to what she was trying to do. I was in my own world and I just couldn’t catch on. She asked me if I had anything to wet her lips and I said “Can you pass the Oreos” (Dude, I was soooo hungry). A little conversation later and she asks “You look really messed up, you should lie down in your tent”, to which I said “Nah I’m fine”…….She CONTIUNED “You sure you don’t want to lie down in your tent”……”No I’m not tired”, I said. Then like a complete weirdo I stand up and stumble towards that beautiful Ferris wheel (the north star of centeroo). I hear a yell in the distance; “ARNT YOU GOING TO CLOSE YOUR JEEP AND LOCK YOUR STUFF?!?”….”WHO CARES”, I said. I then entered centeroo and had the best brain orgasm of my life. Then I sobered up and realized what I had just missed, but the way it all went down was classic and no bas-tard child will come of it, so it’s all good.
i had something sort of similar happen to me in college - the circumstances were different, but it's the same deal of being a bit too out of it to realize what was going on until it was waaaaay too late.
There's no combination of words I could put on the back of a postcard. No song that I could sing. But I can try for your heart Our dreams, and they are made out of real things Like a, shoebox of photographs With sepiatone loving Love is the answer
A little feeling in my gut that I get of late when I think about these cats running the world with hate
the same thing kinda happened to me Thursday night at Langerado.
After Claypool, i was so meltedly spun that all i wanted to do was sit down and nom the heady corns.
Unwinding a bit, this super fine little hippie chick appears about 20 feet away from Mulchy, Morg and I, and i say something to them like, "jeeeeez, i'd marry that girl.."
I dunno if she somehow heard me or what, but i shit you not, she walked beside us, kinda stopped, then walked back to us as if she was really working up some courage.
She looked right at me, my pupils must've looked like headlights, and she goes, "hey man. Do you happen to know the time?"
Rather than saying somethin svelte and Boots-like, something like, "yeah baby, it's fvckin 4:20 at Langerado. Where you from, what's your name? You're going to theNEWDEAL with me.."
i fumbled around for my phone, uberly Urkle-esque. I finally found it and then told her the time. She kinda looked at me funny, hesitated, then thanked me and dipped into the anonymity of the weekend..and for the rest of my life..
God Damn Claypool and his skull melting, speachless rendering sets >:-0
Back at my first Roo (04) I made some rookie mistakes, including drinking way too much too early. Well, this was the year of the mostly female "Yet Another Tent" and I found myself chatting with a girl while watching Antigone Rising. It turns out she worked for Righteous Babe (Ani DiFranco's record label) -- or so my memory went -- and she was there with a female friend. Well, we chatted for awhile but eventually I wandered off in search of more beer but not before giving her my digits for the future.
I was really bummed that I never got a call back until I started piecing the weekend back together, Dude, Where's My Car-style and realized that she was gay and I missed all of the signs. (Probably including her telling me she was gay.) "Son, drunk and hitting on lesbians is no way to go through life!"...
(And lest you think that I am assuming that she was gay simply because she was not picking up what I was laying down, trust me when I tell you that virtually nobody does. Lack of interest in me does not make you gay in my world. It simply means that you are mildly discriminating!)