Going to say this first so I don't come off as a bitter hater:
I'm happy for the Ravens and their fans, especially Ray Rice (who gave me a concussion in high school).
That being said: Thank GOD the Ray Lewis lovefest is over with.
Here's Ray Ray settling for holding Jim Nant'z hand since Nantz wouldn't relinquish the mic for Ray Ray to preach on. God bless Nantz, if he didn't hold strong Ray Ray would be announcing March Madness before he put that damn thing down.
Other highlights/lowlights of the Super Bowl:
- The display of horrified and bewildered faces in the Bar Rafaeli commercial (where she kisses the chubby nerd looking guy).
- Twitter exploding with stupid during the blackout.
- Twitter exploding with stupid in general.
- Every female on my Facebook newsfeed emphatically posting about how "THAT's a show" (re: Beyonce) and acting like the reason they've held over 40 Super Bowls is because they wanted to slowly ascend to the culmination of all that is life....Beyonce's halftime performance. Relax. We get it, she's great, you all love her, she didn't steal the night. The football game that went to the final play did, sorry if that is upsetting in any way (not really).
- The collective sphincter tightening of the City of Baltimore at the end of the 3rd quarter.
- The guy who came to my front door asking if he could sh*t in my bathroom (seriously, this happened midway through the 2nd quarter).
- Joe Flacco's waxing specialist.
- NFL linemen in jerseys that their cheerleaders would need to suck in their stomachs to squeeze into.
- Every childish, immature, foot-stamping Harbaugh meltdown (there were many, they were all amazing).
- Puppy Bowl/Lingerie Bowl (in that order)
- Anquan Boldin's pure beastitude.
- Joe Flacco, emotions.
- Navorro Bowman, emotions
- The no-call.
- Biggest lowlight: San Fran's clock management & playcalling inside of 2 minutes (Andy Reid is looking into suing for copyright infringement).
Overall: Thought it was a very good game, had its quirks to make it unique, came down to the last possession and Simms/Nantz did their best to ignore Ray Lewis as much as humanly possible.
Next year's Super Bowl is in the Meadowlands, enjoy 3948739873967345896734956875467464 articles between then and now about the big, bad Northeast weather and how SUPER BOWLS WERE NOT MADE FOR SUCH BARBARIC SETTINGS.